The time will pass anyway....

MCAT score came. Before I divulge into that, I HAVE to THANK all my family, friends, and co-workers who supported, encouraged, listened, and sat by my side while I've been going through one of the most mentally exhausting processes I've ever gone through (and I know it's only the beginning....). With them, I truly feel like anything is possible. So, thank you! :-)

Anyway,...scores were released on Tuesday. Am I upset?- no. Disappointed?- a little. I didn't get my "dream" score, nor is it a very competitive score, however, with my grades, experience, motivation, and passion, I think I have a small chance of getting into a school...so that makes me happy.

For the first time, in what seems like forever, I can see a future for myself. That sounds a bit dramatic, so let me explain. For the past 2 years, I have known what I have wanted, but honestly, I felt like it was SO far out of reach. There were times that I had so many different thoughts racing through my mind:

• "I may not ever get into medical school...what can be my back up so I can still accomplish my goal of helping others? PhD? hmm...not for me. DrPH?- maybe...though I would miss not having clinical knowledge" 
• "Is it worth it to keep going?" 
• "Gosh, by the time I get there, I will be soooo old!" 
• "What about a husband and kids, will that happen if I keep so focused on this?"

The list can go on and on. But, for the first time, I can answer these questions. Yes, I will get into medical school. Yes, it is all worth it. No, I won't be soooo old, just a little old ;). And, the husband and kids will come when the time is right.

For the first time, I don't feel envious (embarrassed to say because I'm not an envious person) of those who are my age and already have everything in order.

For the first time, I feel like "I have a chance." That's all I've ever wanted. Because I improved (many points since the first time I took it), I have gained even more confidence that I really can do this and I can only keep getting better. I took the past couple days to really think about what I want to do. So, I made the decision to apply; even to schools I know I most likely wouldn't get into, but what the heck. right? But, I've also decided to retake the MCAT in January (for the 4th time may I add) because I truly feel that I can improve my score even more. So, if I don't get in anywhere (which I'm okay with), I can be on top of it for next application cycle. Just gotta keep going....

Time. It's one of those things that freak me out. Like I've mentioned previously, I like to plan and plans don't always go accordingly. As a woman, it's sometimes hard to want to have that "dream" career, but to also want to have a family, so, naturally I worry about that (and I know I'm not the only one). As I said above, I sometimes think that this career path I've chosen for myself is taking so long and sometimes, it makes me want to rethink it...but then, I snap out of it and I believe I can make it work. I just gotta go with it.

A friend of mine posted this quote on her Facebook Tuesday afternoon and I loved it. If I had to give someone advice- a person who is struggling to accomplish some goal or dream, whatever it may be, I would say the following....