Where Have I Been?

Helloooo, anyone out there? Probably not. Where have I been this past year?

You know? I'm still trying to figure that out.

I thought first year was hard, then second year welcomed me with open, fiery arms. The smoke caused quite the haze, one I'm still emerging from.

Second year: The year with 40+ hours of lecture a week (this includes me listening and taking notes). The year of non-stop studying. The year where I was in clinic 8 hours a week. The year of Level 1 (AKA Step 1). The year of non-stop studying. Oh, I already said that. So, I guess that's where I have been. In the arms of this fiery monster I can't get enough of- medical school! But, I wasn't burned alive. I'm back and ready to share. :)

Part III: Year One in Pictures

This is my last post capturing my first year of medical school! I just spent time reading my last two posts about first year and it's been so humbling to reflect on this past year. It's sometimes so surreal that I'm here- one step closer to (hopefully) being where I want to be.

The past couple weeks have been a whirlwind. I've had a friend visit, my mom and stepdad visited, and I started orientation at the DOC. Though informational, the orientation was boring at times, but today was actually pretty fun! We worked with correctional officers through about 8 or 9 acted out scenarios on what we could possibly encounter while working at the jail (ex., two inmates are caught in the shower together, how do you proceed?). As medical staff, I don't think the scenarios will ever apply directly to me, but it was still eye-opening to learn and see what these officers do and expect on a daily basis. I've gained so much respect for the profession! I'm really looking forward to rotating through the jail. Many medical students don't have the opportunity to work in that environment, so I feel grateful I will have the opportunity. I don't think it will be a good fit for me in the future, but you never know!

Anyway, below are my last few months in first year! It basically consisted of:

1. Lots of studying and sleeping in the library:

I don't drink coffee, so my go-to are green tea lattes from Starbucks

I mastered the 15 minute power nap in med-school; this was almost a must. 

Admiring their artistry once I woke up from my nap. 

2. The end of our Scandal watching dinners!

This was right after we watched the season finale of Scandal 

3. Finding sanity in between having 1-2 exams EVERY week! I was convinced that the last two months of school, they were trying to make us crazy!  

Christina Perri concert! SO amazing, I love her music and voice.  Don't worry, I DID NOT make the same mistake twice (remember what I said about the BSB concert?). I studied REALLY hard the weeks prior to make sure that I could attend this concert for the evening. 

Walks around my apartment complex as a mental break! 

You know, just straightening her hair while studying. Sometimes, one must multi-task to have fun at night. 

 4. The lasts!

Last OSCE in first year! 

Last lecture of first year!!!

Last late night/ early morning study session (at IHOP) before our GI final!! 

So there you have it, my first year of med school summed up in three posts. These posts by far did not capture every event, feeling, or attitude from first year, but for me, I know that I will love looking back and reflecting on my time.

Second year will definitely be harder and more time consuming than first, but I am truly hoping to be able to write a post at least every couple of weeks.

Hope y'all enjoyed reading! :)

xoxo

Part II: Year One in Pictures

Can you believe it's already the second of August!?! I'm pretty sure it was just June! Wow- summer break is over in T-9 days! I should have 16 more days, but recently found out that our orientation (the D.C. site only) got pushed up a week. No big deal, I'm ready, no, I will be ready in 9 days to start second year strong. Enough with the small talk, this post will be a continuation of my first year in pictures. Ready, set, here ya go! I think I left off right before Thanksgiving.

November 2013: Thanksgiving Day! This is a genuine smile! I had just finished NMSK B (and passed!).  From here on out, med school didn't get easier, but I sure got better! 

Thanksgiving day: Delicious thanksgiving preparation by Pauline! Puts me to shame. I was trying so hard to think what I brought to the thanksgiving dinner, then I remembered: ingredients for S'mores. I know...shame. Anyone who knows me knows that I don't cook- I don't know how. I'm pretty sure I've only made a meal for a total of 4-5 people in my life and that's probably because they forced me. I have this strange fear of cooking for others. 

December 2013: This was the start of Cardio-pulmonary I (CPI): Lana and I are in anatomy lab preparing to  dissect a pig heart. SN: we learned so much in CP I, including how to read normal and abnormal EKGs. Yesterday, while I was in clinic conducting some research, one of the attendings handed me a patient's EKG and asked: "what's wrong with this patient." Me: "uhhh...well, I see a peaked wave...." I stared at her blankly and thought, shit, which wave is that? T? but why don't I really see PQRS...maybe it's P? Either way, what does a peaked P or T wave mean....mind blank...I remember nothing. I have lots of studying to do people! 

December 2013: SALSA DANCING! There was this Lebanese restaurant that had salsa lessons on Friday nights, so we went 3-4 times during the year on an "off" weekend. SO much fun...I basically can be a professional salsa dancer now  still suck at salsa dancing. 

December 2013: Secret Santa between me and ma' girls! 

December 25th, 2013: CHRISTMAS DAY! I was so excited to see my babies! 

December 25th, 2013: Jordan and Aayden enjoying the new iPad. 

December 2013: My other babies! We are just a hot mess. 

January 1st, 2014: ringing in the New Year with friends! Krystle (girl on the far left) is actually visiting me and another friend this weekend! 

January 12th, 2013: Lana's birthday dinner! I think she looks so beautiful in this pic. This was such an epic night! We started off at a REALLY fancy French restaurant and then even fancier wine bar. 

Danced the night away at a club. 

Ended the night on my bathroom floor. I call that success. 

This picture is incredibly random, but it deserves a post. This is February, so I had been in school for about 7 months and this was my 5th water bottle! I know, it's not normal for someone to lose water bottles as much as I did. It basically became a running joke. HOWEVER, I did not lose this one because pretty much at least 1/3 of my class knew what my water bottle looked like so if I left it anywhere, it was always returned. :) I am happy to report that I am still a proud owner of this water bottle! 

February 2014: Med school prom! I'm sad I didn't get more pictures from this night.  

February 2014: Day after the med school prom. We decided to participate in a 5K (the color run). It was so much fun, I would definitely do one again! 

March/April 2014: Umm.....I think this was in our Renal course, I had been studying ALL weekend and this is how I felt...crazy.

March 2014: My acting debut. Our Women's Health group put on a production of the Vagina Monologues in order to raise funds for a women's domestic violence center. I was honored to be a part of it.  I performed the part: "The Little Coochie Snorcher that Could." I barely remember my performance because I was SO incredibly nervous the entire time! 

Spring Break 2014: The Grand Canyon. This was such a wonderful trip, with some of the most beautifully spirited group of women. Beginning in the second semester, I started to journal. A friend of mine captured this picture of me eating lunch, journaling, and taking in my blessings. It was a big moment of reflection. I had completed more than 1/2 of my first semester and after this break, I would be entering the final stretch of first year. I realized how much I had changed and grown, but more so, realized how much I will continue to change and grow- hopefully for the better.

I will stop here. Krystle, Sami, and I will be going to a baseball game tonight! I'm really excited to spend more time with these ladies and enjoy the last bit of my summer. Hope you enjoyed reading.

xoxo

Part I: Year One In Pictures

Well Helloooo! It's no surprise that I haven't written in a long time. A lot has happened in the past year. I started my first year of medical school. I finished my first year of medical school. I met amazing and inspirational people and made best friends. I faced a lot of challenges. I had many ups and downs. Tonight I sit in my new apartment in the Washington, D.C. area on summer vacation! :) I can't write everything that went on this year, but wanted to catch you up. So here you go: part 1 of my year in pictures.

July 5th, 2013- My "holy crap, it's happening" moment.

July 15th, 2013- White Coat Ceremony: We had gone through orientation and had our first set of classes (8-noon) that morning. My mom and stepdad flew out to Arizona  for the event. I was so excited, motivated, and ready. I had waited and worked so hard for this moment.

Mid-late August: My 1st year roommate (Tracy) and I. I'm pretty sure we were at Esther's (?) birthday celebration. 

August 29th, 2013- Rommies (Esther and Pauline)! First course of med school complete and my pre-birthday celebration before everyone headed home for the long weekend.

Jon and Lana :)

August 31st, 2014- Celebrating my 27th birthday with these wonderful faces in Arizona! I remember being so nervous I wouldn't have any friends to celebrate my birthday with and I felt so blessed that they came out!

September 5th, 2013- One week into NMSK A (worst course of my entire life) and a backstreet boys concert. Having fun or what I called it at the time, "balancing my life," was my priority. Little did I know I would later feel like I was drowning.

Mid-september: I was missing home, my family, and friends sooooo much, that my beautiful best friends Amanda and Ala bought me a surprise ticket home for Fall Break. I'm pretty sure I cried for an entire day because I couldn't understand how I could possibly be so blessed.

Early October- Road-tripped to San Diego. SO much fun!! Once again, my priorities were not straight...I later learned this was probably not the brightest decision (though it's one I don't regret), considering I had an anatomy practical that Monday and NMSK A final that Friday- I failed. :( More on this to come.

October 31st, 2013- Since I knew I wouldn't be going out for halloween, I decided to be spirited in my dress! Don't let my smile here fool you, I was pretty stressed out. I had just failed a course and was terrified I wouldn't make it through med school. <--- This was much easier for me to type now. It was something I kept secret (only my mom knew) for a LONG time. I feared judgement from my family, friends, classmates, etc.... But, I realized that I can't let one failure define me or what I am capable of. I had to own up to it, tackle it straight on, and be sure that it never happened again. I will definitely dedicate an entire post to this.

Early November- Post-test shenanigans! I'm pretty sure we were waiting on a couple people so we could go watch a movie.

Mid-November: My amazing friend and artist, Pauline drew this when we were in the thick of Neuro (NMSK-B). It's a pretty accurate presentation of how my brain felt and it was during this course it finally hit me, med school is no place for laziness and procrastination. If I wanted to succeed, I would need to learn how to study and not be afraid to sway away from my old study ways, stick to it, and work my ass off. So I did. :)

Mid-November: AND THIS...this is the night I realized that my new group of friends would be my biggest support and one of the reasons I made it through this year happy, smiling, and alive. We picked one random night, after an exam I'm sure, and built a blanket fort like we were middle school girls, except we drank wine and enjoyed each other's conversation and company....and sung some Mulan songs!

My first year of medical school was challenging to say the least. I learned A LOT, about medicine, but even more about myself. Most importantly, I realized how blessed (pretty sure I've used this word a few times already) I am to have the opportunity to pursue my dreams of becoming a family physician. Hopefully, the couple weeks I have left this summer, I can take the time to share and unfold that with you all.

Happy Monday ya'll! Thank for reading.
xoxo

6 Months Later...

It's been 6 months since my last entry! If I'm being honest, I've thought about my blog everyday since I started medical school. There were days I wanted to share the happiness I felt, or vent about the stress, or my fears, talk about the awesome friends I've made or some cool things I've learned, but then I would sit down to write and nothing would come out of me. No words. Lots of emotions (and let's face it, I'm not the best at sharing that), but no words. I was scared that if I started to just type cathartically, I would say something that I wasn't really ready to share and other times, I just had way too much that I wanted to share and I didn't know where to start! And, I still don't think I have words to share right now (sorry!), but I thought I should write something, anything. Truth- what motivated me to just sit and write was a session I attended today at school for a study that is starting regarding the practice of mindfulness and narrative medicine on emotional intelligence. It really got me thinking- why don't you blog anymore? Am I still creative, in the sense that I'm able to share how I feel, my experiences, etc... Has that courage left me? And I thought, what the hell, just sit down and write a post, something's bound to come out. So here I am, doing so. I can't promise that I will keep up with posting (I've yet to be steady on my blog), but I really do hope with time, I can find it within myself again to share. It would be truly amazing to be able to look back at this journey I am currently embarking on!

Happy New Year everyone! :)

xoxo

Happy Monday!

I'm currently taking a mental break from today! My morning and afternoon has been filled with sorting through the details of moving. From finding a trustworthy moving company, organizing the tons of crap I own, to budgeting the amount it will take to move, I've learned that moving is stressful and EXPENSIVE! I'm kind of over it! Ha! I'm so thankful for the people in my life that are trying to make it easier- thank you, thank you! The anxiety I'm feeling from all of this sucks. I go back and forth between excitement (OMG, I'm starting medical school in 28 days!!!! :)), to nervousness (SO much to do and people I want to see, in what seems like little time), and fear (what if I don't succeed!?!). That's normal right? I'm going to go with yes, it is. I'm slowly checking things off my to-do list which definitely makes me feel better!

Anyway, I must say, the past week was pretty darn awesome! Went to Miami last weekend for my little cousin's graduation. My 3 day trip turned into a 7 day one for a variety of reasons, nonetheless, it was fantastic. When I got home, I got to spend two days with my wonderful mother and my stepdad. And to top off the weekend, two friends (3 if you count the handsome English couch surfer Melinda brought along) and I went to the food market at Thai Temple (such a great experience; if you are in Tampa, I definitely suggest you check it out!). After devouring a ton of delicious Thai food, I headed to the outlet mall to look for a dress for my white coat ceremony (still not luck), and ended the rainy night by watching a comedy show with a friend. All in all, a great week. Excited to spend the next couple weeks spending time with family and friends before I leave! It's truly bittersweet!

On a different note, I wanted to let you know that I decided to claim my blog at Bloglovin'. I use this site to follow the blogs I enjoy reading on a regular basis and figured maybe you would want to check it out too and follow my blog on there! :)

Racquel, Danielle, and Me at Graduation!

Jordan, Me, and Sean at our movie date!

Sean reading to Aayden; doesn't this picture just warm your heart!

Thai Temple in Tampa. Beautiful temple and a beautiful culture! Didn't grab any pictures of the food- whoops!

Stress Eating

Confession: I have an incredibly unhealthy relationship with food. When stressed out, some people go for a run/walk or vent to friends...I do those things sometimes, but mostly, I eat. This is a habit I need to break and one that I've known that I need to break for a REALLY long time. I know what's healthy and what I should eat and what I shouldn't, but when stressed, all I want is wings, a coke, and lots of ice cream (or some other unhealthy combo). When stressed, the last thing I care about is what I'm doing to my body. So bad, especially for someone who knows better! After I've scarfed down the 100 grams of fat, sugar, and the million calories, I feel really upset with my self. It's pretty darn ridiculous.

Anyway, this is changing. When I got into medical school, among other fears, there was one that kept rolling around in my mind. I kept thinking, "Oh Gosh! I'm going to gain an unbelievably large amount of weight and ruin my arteries and heart from this stress eating thing I do." I can't let that happen, I won't let that happen! So, I made the decision to start paying closer attention to my food choices and working out more (at least 3x a week). It's been pretty successful so far. Of course there are weeks where I may only go to the gym once or twice or eat a cupcake, but that's better than when I went weeks without making it to the gym or eating a cupcake once a day everyday (okay, I never did that, but you get my point). It's all about intention (remember that post). I should also note that since I've started being more aware, I haven't been under much stress....until yesterday and today!

With my last day at work fast approaching (tomorrow, in fact!), there has been a lot that I needed to get done to complete transitioning the new staff member. Along with that and other job factors (too boring to discuss here :)), it has caused me an intense amount of stress and anxiety. Yesterday wasn't so bad, but coupled with today, I really just wanted to eat and cry.

By 3:30pm today, I'm ready to pull all my hair out! So, before leaving for the afternoon, I convinced myself that I didn't care, I can have one day to indulge. All I wanted was sushi, a coke, and fried ice cream!  And, I was sure I was going to get it! I took the exit that would lead me to my favorite sushi restaurant and too my surprise, I drove right past it. This is going to sound crazy, but I don't know what made me do it. I was so sure, and as I got closer, I just didn't. I did ask a friend if she wanted to join me, she said no, so maybe that had something to do with it...but, I eat alone at restaurants all the time!

Anyway, I went home, ate baked chicken strips, sautéed (in coconut oil) asparagus, green and red peppers, onions, and tomatoes, and corn.

I also really wanted a dessert so I opted for my banana and peanut butter smoothie: 1 cup almond milk, 1/2 serving of all natural peanut butter, 1 banana, and ice.

And voila, I feel so much better and I don't feel completely gross. I always feel better when I opt for healthier options, but, at the moment I can never think of the gratification I get later, rather, I want instant gratification from crap food. I'm excited that I was able to not give in to my unhealthy desire and I hope it's something I can keep up! For me, it's not about always denying myself ice cream, a cupcake, or wings, it just can't be my go to food when I'm not feeling great! Taking control of one's health is not easy and I understand that there are lots of barriers that can prevent someone from being healthy (contrary to how those fitness gurus make it look), but I do think if you're ready, it's possible. So here's to trying!

Now to conquer my disdain to working out...remember why I started this blog? Well, I've yet to accomplish that goal, but I do intend to do something about it.

If you have any tips on how you handle stress eating, let me know!

xoxo
Rosa